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5p sociology course

Paul Tanner

she pays for a bus into town.
she has a pound for the trolley.
she goes up and down the aisles,
loading said trolley with stuff that costs money
and queues up with it all ...
just to have an argument
over the 5p bag charge.

poor misguided soul
must be bored
and lonely
and frustrated
to an immeasurable degree

but if the internet has taught me anything,
it’s that any old platitude on positivity
is always well received,
so when she starts her speech
about how unfair the 5p bag charge is,
I tell her:

it’s your own time you’re wasting.
I’m paid to be here, but you
you could be doing literally anything else right now:
learning an instrument or reading or
writing or painting or exercising ...
life is temporary.
you’re dying.
is this
how you want to do it?

but alas
my inspirational quote
was not as well received
as it would have been online.
I did not get a thousand likes.
I didn’t even get one.
in fact, she started screaming that I should be fired.
I was down-voted in the flesh.
maybe such things only work
when they’re written in italics,
with a sun setting in the background ...

or maybe society
doesn’t think its shop workers can be influencers.
unless, of course,
it’s to reduce recommended retail prices.
or hire more staff.
or laugh at their jokes
or empathise with their sob stories
or fawn over their kids
or carry their stuff to the bus stop
or work during a pandemic
or reverse environmental law’s 5p bag charge.

contrary shower, society, innit?
yeah well fuck it.
THERE’S my inspirational quote:
“fuck society”
write that in italics
and put it in front of a sunset, influencers.

anyway, I’ll quit before I’m fired.

and on that note ...

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