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This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book “Sprung from Grief” Down in the Dirt, v184 (the June 2021 Issue) Order the paperback book:

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Your Love Was Killing Me

Travis Green

I didn’t realize that being in love
with someone who doesn’t love you
the same could affect your mind,
leaving you spaced out, divided,
blindsided, draining the life out of me,
making me hurt, overwhelmed with unbearable
despair, staring at the darkened shadows
in my empty bedroom, pondering on when this
nightmare would ever end. My lungs
are becoming numb to the strumming sadness
streaming inside my system, feeling like
I’m drifting out of reality into unraveling
chaotic episodes that I can’t control. I’m high
on Mary Jane, popping pills, feeling the chills,
spinning in dizzy dreams, turning up on the flaming
Vodka, Patron, and Henny, unable to digress
the situation, my mind still swimming
inside your intoxicating equations of undying passion,
crashing into absolute devastation. My skin
is swollen and cold, stolen with overflowing poetry
of brainwashed sensations and chaos, shuddering
without disruption, corrupted, erupted, untrusted,
covered in a soak-stained puddle of grubby mud,
unlucky in love, cussing and fussing, thinking
about you touching me, knowing that it will never be.
I’m consistently dreaming of the impossible,
like if I give it time, you will see that I’m the one
that can fill your mind with vision and precision,
give you the affection that you need to be
the all the man that you need to be.
But you don’t see things the way that I see them.
You shut me out of your life without
an explanation, had me fumbling and stumbling,
embracing the rumbling thunder inside my belly
as I felt like my entirety had become misspelled, dispelled,
failed, undelivered mail, blackmailed, crazed, dazed
escapes, pale, stale, wailing, welling with heartache,
with no cure for this condition.

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