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Order this writing that appears in the one-of-a-kind anthology Lockdown’s Over the Down in the Dirt May-August 2021 issues collection book		get the 420 page May-August 2021 Down in the Dirt 6" x 9" ISBN# perfect-bound paperback book:

Unsupervised Guidance

Jacob LePretre

    The fire started out of nowhere. Smoke smoke smoke, little JJ said rapidly and full of spurts and stutters, Sha! Sha! Sha!
    Sha looked up from feeding the even younger TJ and let out a group of words that she wouldn’t have used had her father been home and perhaps she didn’t even know she was allowed to use them herself. JJ called something from behind and Sasha ran and took JJ and put him next to TJ. DJ! Sasha called, DJ! DJ! DJ!
    Smoke rushed from a curtain in the living room. Someone must’ve nudged the space heater she said to herself and she followed it with God dammit aloud again but God had little to do with this. TJ stared at her wide eyed next to his older brother, so did JJ. Dammit. She said for a third time as if milking the situation to curse. Go get your brother, she said but JJ only moved closer to TJ. He stood straight but not tall and strong and instead tall and lanky like a deer. He was too young for this. He was going to be taller than DJ. She took off toward the kitchen. How old was she again?
    DJ! She turned on the sink and water sputtered and spit yellow in globs until it gushed and flowed. She filled a pan and threw it on the curtain. Thick smoke stained the wall and ran along the ceiling like water filling lungs. She ran again to fill the pan. It was heavy in her arms, half sloshed on the floor before she got to the fire. The fire moved quickly. TJ took JJ back there some, she pointed and he just shook his head. I can’t do it. She saw his legs were shaking. Little JJ was getting restless. Just hold onto him, she said and he did. She spilled another half pan and the other curtain caught too. She screamed again.
    At the time of the second scream DJ walked from his room with headphones in and a sweatshirt hooded over his head and he looked like he had been sleeping. Someone burning somethi... oh shit, he said. Sasha looked up. Help me, she said. And don’t swear! Sorry, DJ said and she gave him the pan and he rushed and tossed water like she had and she went for a broom and started to try and smother the beast.
    After some thinking and acting and more thinking, the effort and combination of water and broom and then smothering a wet broom to wet sheet followed by the putting out of a burning pillow that was also used had officially done the job and the fire was out and Sasha unplugged the space heater with authority as if that were some final stab from a spike sent through the head of a zombie that wouldn’t die and still some monsters never die.
    With soot and stains and ash and burnt broom straw and pillow on the floor and smoke stains on the ceiling Sasha turned on music and DJ and TJ swept up what they could but the broom wasn’t too good so they used a towel they wet with some water to wipe everything and even opened the door to let the apartment air out but it was too cold for that and they shut it a minute later. Sasha finished the mac N cheese and watched the chicken nuggets while bouncing JJ on her hip and when it was ready the four of them ate together and laughed and joked and talked about how they saved the house like good old fashioned superheroes.
    When they were cleaning the dishes the door handle jingled and a bolt lock slid open.
    What in God’s name happened here, said the boy’s mother. Henry. What the fuck! She dropped her bag. JJ started to cry and she took him, c’mon here baby. What happened? She glared at DJ but Sasha spoke.
    Someone put the space heater too close to the curtain and it caught.
    It was one word she spoke but it was ice and Sasha slipped on it. “What?”
    Her father stepped forward. Relax now. Anything can be cleaned.
    Clean? Oh no, oh no, no. DJ! she summoned him forward as if she thought he was hiding and not standing right in front of them all, the tallest of everyone in the room. First we learn, she said, year after year, she said but still can’t learn. Then we will clean, you’ve learned how to clean. She turned with her newest son. Belt, she said.
    DJ looked at Sasha and then he looked at JJ who didn’t understand instead of his mother and he didn’t want to look at TJ so he didn’t but he looked toward the door as if he thought about running and leaving this all behind. Run and let this all be forgotten until a later date in his life perhaps when he might be happy and that is if he made it that far of course and sometimes it’s hard to look ahead. It’s hard to run from family too. And it’s hard to be happy.
    The boy’s mother held JJ and turned themselves toward DJ and rocked the baby as if showing him what will happen to those who disobey. Sasha’s father unclipped his belt. Slow and regretful. She didn’t understand why he would do this either but there are many things she still didn’t understand. Sasha didn’t watch him and she grabbed TJ by the hand and led his lanky arm to the back room they shared and he was shaking. She knew he watched DJ as she walked and she wished he didn’t. She wished for a lot of things.
    Inside the room with the door shut they sat on the mattress and all was quiet until a snap was heard and another and another and outside a baby cried and inside and in the dark Sasha held TJ and she thought he cried too unless it was just her own tears that had fallen from her face onto his. She wasn’t sure.

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