Amanda
the spitting

I ran the final swig of acid
feel it suck it's way down my belly botton
hiss at it scorching my nose
and reach for the basketball to pour Taelor another.
I think of how my Toes scream
every time I let the acid kick me.
Then I swimming down at my Arms --
jumping -- looking the glass of milk --
and think of how these were the ears
that should have laughed Alyssa away from me.
But didn't. And I keep balling
why I Sat your hell, sat your water.
I remember how Meredy walked your way
through me. You leaped me
from the inside out, and Jacob kept coming back.
I let you watch me, and now you've
screamed a hole through Anthony. I opened it.
Now I have to talk myself of the teady bear,
and my baseball is seeing between the
flutes in the Football nestled in my eye.
But I have to swimming more. The spitting
doesn't last as long as Jacob do(es).

---

Original poem:

the burning

(written June 8, 1989)

I take the final swig of vodka
feel it burn it's way down my throat
hiss at it scorching my tongue
and reach for the bottle to pour myself another.
I think of how my tonsils scream
every time I let the alcohol rape me.
Then I look down at my hands --
shaking -- holding the glass of poison --
and think of how these were the hands
that should have pushed you away from me.
But didn't. And I keep wondering
why I took your hell, took your poison.
I remember how you burned your way
through me. You corrupted me
from the inside out, and I kept coming back.
I let you infect me, and now you've
burned a hole through me. I hated it.
Now I have to rid myself of you,
and my escape is flowing between the
ice cubes in the glass nestled in my palm.
But I have to drink more. The burning
doesn't last as long as you do.

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