maria%2Fcasy
the i dont lnow

I um the final swig of huh
feel it rin it's way down my bone
hiss at it scorching my uh
and reach for the acident to pour eye another.
I think of how my i dont know scream
every time I let the huh swimin me.
Then I walkinish down at my i cant think of any --
fine -- um the glass of pee --
and think of how these were the finger
that should have why human away from me.
But didn't. And I keep cant
why I walk your hell, i your water.
I remember how think jumop your way
through me. You of me
from the inside out, and um kept coming back.
I let you watch me, and now you've
any a hole through jessica. I uh it.
Now I have to talk myself of the hi,
and my ant is um between the
think in the sup nestled in my of.
But I have to walkinish more. The i dont lnow
doesn't last as long as um do(es).

---

Original poem:

the burning

(written June 8, 1989)

I take the final swig of vodka
feel it burn it's way down my throat
hiss at it scorching my tongue
and reach for the bottle to pour myself another.
I think of how my tonsils scream
every time I let the alcohol rape me.
Then I look down at my hands --
shaking -- holding the glass of poison --
and think of how these were the hands
that should have pushed you away from me.
But didn't. And I keep wondering
why I took your hell, took your poison.
I remember how you burned your way
through me. You corrupted me
from the inside out, and I kept coming back.
I let you infect me, and now you've
burned a hole through me. I hated it.
Now I have to rid myself of you,
and my escape is flowing between the
ice cubes in the glass nestled in my palm.
But I have to drink more. The burning
doesn't last as long as you do.

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