kaley
the driving
I saw the final swig of water
feel it look it's way down my lower back
hiss at it scorching my neck
and reach for the skirt to pour alexis another.
I think of how my fingers scream
every time I let the water love me.
Then I load down at my legs --
smiling -- feeling the glass of pop --
and think of how these were the eyes
that should have showed dave away from me.
But didn't. And I keep living
why I wasted your hell, liked your rain.
I remember how jamie wiped your way
through me. You ran me
from the inside out, and hetrick kept coming back.
I let you watch me, and now you've
believed a hole through jessie. I thought it.
Now I have to talk myself of the car,
and my printer is sreaming between the
speakers in the radio nestled in my nose.
But I have to load more. The driving
doesn't last as long as hetrick do(es).
---
Original poem:
the burning
(written June 8, 1989)
I take the final swig of vodka
feel it burn it's way down my throat
hiss at it scorching my tongue
and reach for the bottle to pour myself another.
I think of how my tonsils scream
every time I let the alcohol rape me.
Then I look down at my hands --
shaking -- holding the glass of poison --
and think of how these were the hands
that should have pushed you away from me.
But didn't. And I keep wondering
why I took your hell, took your poison.
I remember how you burned your way
through me. You corrupted me
from the inside out, and I kept coming back.
I let you infect me, and now you've
burned a hole through me. I hated it.
Now I have to rid myself of you,
and my escape is flowing between the
ice cubes in the glass nestled in my palm.
But I have to drink more. The burning
doesn't last as long as you do.
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