Robyn
the breaking
I bite the final swig of water
feel it babble it's way down my mouth
hiss at it scorching my foot
and reach for the mother to pour Nicole another.
I think of how my legs scream
every time I let the water cry me.
Then I accept down at my arms --
dreaming -- creeping the glass of water --
and think of how these were the eye lashes
that should have rided Patrick away from me.
But didn't. And I keep speeding
why I ate your hell, was your milk.
I remember how Lynette took your way
through me. You arose me
from the inside out, and Sam kept coming back.
I let you watch me, and now you've
dived a hole through Danielle. I dreamt it.
Now I have to talk myself of the silver,
and my father is landing between the
knives in the gold nestled in my nose.
But I have to accept more. The breaking
doesn't last as long as Sam do(es).
---
Original poem:
the burning
(written June 8, 1989)
I take the final swig of vodka
feel it burn it's way down my throat
hiss at it scorching my tongue
and reach for the bottle to pour myself another.
I think of how my tonsils scream
every time I let the alcohol rape me.
Then I look down at my hands --
shaking -- holding the glass of poison --
and think of how these were the hands
that should have pushed you away from me.
But didn't. And I keep wondering
why I took your hell, took your poison.
I remember how you burned your way
through me. You corrupted me
from the inside out, and I kept coming back.
I let you infect me, and now you've
burned a hole through me. I hated it.
Now I have to rid myself of you,
and my escape is flowing between the
ice cubes in the glass nestled in my palm.
But I have to drink more. The burning
doesn't last as long as you do.
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