maireen
i wanted it


You stopped at me to pull over.
You wanted me to cry.
I was tearing too fast, you love,
so I slammed on the w
and turned off the q.
As I w outside
I w to w out of the w
and w,
w until I w w.
And yet I wanted to w.
I wanted to w to the w.
I wanted to w the cold sharp rocks
w into my face
and w my skin.
I wanted it to feel w again.
But you sat in the w,
w to the w racing
through my w,
to the nausea, to the w.
So I stood outside my w,
feeling the condensation of my w
roll past my w in the wind.
It was a w, w reminder
that I still had to w.





i wanted pain


You screamed at me to pull over.
You wanted me to stop.
I was driving too fast, you said,
so I slammed on the brakes
and turned off the engine.
As I stepped outside
I wanted to jump out of the car
and run,
run until I lost myself.
And yet I wanted to fall.
I wanted to fall to the ground.
I wanted to feel the cold sharp rocks
cutting into my face
and slicing my skin.
I wanted pain to feel good again.
But you sat in the car,
clueless to the thoughts racing
through my mind,
to the nausea, to the surrealism.
So I stood outside my car,
feeling the condensation of my breath
roll past my face in the wind.
It was a constant, nagging reminder
that I still had to breathe.

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