jacob
i wanted house


You ran at me to pull over.
You wanted me to jump.
I was chewing too fast, you smack,
so I slammed on the horse
and turned off the school.
As I smelled outside
I learned to swam out of the building
and snap,
crackle until I popped Britney Spears.
And yet I wanted to shave.
I wanted to flush to the hair.
I wanted to swallow the cold sharp rocks
pretty into my face
and ugly my skin.
I wanted house to feel fingernail again.
But you sat in the shoe,
ginormous to the cars racing
through my esophogas,
to the nausea, to the hiduism.
So I stood outside my aura,
feeling the condensation of my harmony
roll past my monkey in the wind.
It was a shiny, green reminder
that I still had to eat.





i wanted pain


You screamed at me to pull over.
You wanted me to stop.
I was driving too fast, you said,
so I slammed on the brakes
and turned off the engine.
As I stepped outside
I wanted to jump out of the car
and run,
run until I lost myself.
And yet I wanted to fall.
I wanted to fall to the ground.
I wanted to feel the cold sharp rocks
cutting into my face
and slicing my skin.
I wanted pain to feel good again.
But you sat in the car,
clueless to the thoughts racing
through my mind,
to the nausea, to the surrealism.
So I stood outside my car,
feeling the condensation of my breath
roll past my face in the wind.
It was a constant, nagging reminder
that I still had to breathe.

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