Jackie
i wanted earth


You slithered at me to pull over.
You wanted me to expanding.
I was shaking too fast, you howls,
so I slammed on the dirt
and turned off the glass.
As I knew outside
I feared to bake out of the bones
and fades,
shiver until I picked them.
And yet I wanted to care.
I wanted to flicker to the cities.
I wanted to regenerate the cold sharp rocks
smooth into my face
and hard my skin.
I wanted earth to feel they again.
But you sat in the storm,
insatiable to the candles racing
through my tongue,
to the nausea, to the mutualism.
So I stood outside my moss,
feeling the condensation of my measures
roll past my ark in the wind.
It was a Spanish, alone reminder
that I still had to despise.





i wanted pain


You screamed at me to pull over.
You wanted me to stop.
I was driving too fast, you said,
so I slammed on the brakes
and turned off the engine.
As I stepped outside
I wanted to jump out of the car
and run,
run until I lost myself.
And yet I wanted to fall.
I wanted to fall to the ground.
I wanted to feel the cold sharp rocks
cutting into my face
and slicing my skin.
I wanted pain to feel good again.
But you sat in the car,
clueless to the thoughts racing
through my mind,
to the nausea, to the surrealism.
So I stood outside my car,
feeling the condensation of my breath
roll past my face in the wind.
It was a constant, nagging reminder
that I still had to breathe.

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